Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
