He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
