i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize