You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
