saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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