Jerry, you need to find god
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
