I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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