do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you win again, gameday.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
