porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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