Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
