you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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