I heard we made out
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You smell like stripper and shame
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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