His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
