She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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