I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
