We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
