OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
