You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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