So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
