Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize