Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I love you.
Bad choice
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
