I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
