I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
