We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
