remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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