Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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