Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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