If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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