I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
