Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
