i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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