So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
