I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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