im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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