He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
