Your mouth is God's brothel.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
