why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
