I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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