So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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