Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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