Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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