If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize