Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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