i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
