so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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