Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
don't judge my taste in strippers
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
