idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
