Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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