I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
