Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
