she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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