so that wasnt chicken after all
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
