24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
